A lesson in disappointment!
Well momma's,................Today, I was frustrated beyond belief because I was told that I don't qualify to do something that I was MEANT to do, something I am CALLED to do. Here is what what happened:
Lately, I have been telling God that I desire to do work that aligns with my calling to be of service to single mothers like myself. I've been a single mom for over 16 years and I have a wealth of knowledge, wisdom and resources that I want to share in order to help other single moms live the lives that they were called to live. Now, while that all sounds fine and good I haven't been finding many jobs that line up with my desires.
For clarity, I am already currently already employed and I also own my own business which is autumrosecandleandbodyco.com but I am searching for a career that will allow me to be in the community helping those that need my help.
So I stumbled across the website of a local shelter that is for single mothers and their children. So I take a look to see if there are any career opportunities available and sure enough...............there is a shelter manager position available. I started to get excited.
I open up the job qualification that are listed in the information section of this open position and to my surprise I meet all of the requirements for the position:
- Management experience ( check ✅)
- Experience with children ( I used to be an assistant teacher so check✅)
- A believer ( Check ✅)
Thats when I started to get excited. This job has my name written all over it. It's what Ive been asking God for. It was the opportunity to be in the community with my target demographic doing the work I was called to do. Helping the women that I am supposed to be helping. In my mind there was NO BETTER CANDIDATE than me!
So I find the contact information of the person that is listed on the website who has more information on this "PERFECT POSITION". So I call her. For the sake of the story lets just name this woman Jaime! The voicemail goes like this: " Hi Jaime, my name is Felecia and I was taking a look at your website and saw that you have an open position for a shelter manager, Im just reaching out to get a little more information about the position. If you can give me a call back at your earliest convenience that would be great. Thank you and have a good day".....................................nice and easy right? lol.
In addition I decided to send a short email that pretty much said the same thing. I was really really hopeful.
I went on about my day and about an hour later, I get a response. I was so so excited. She thanked me for reaching out to her and let me know that she had attached a copy of the job requirements and an application that she wanted me to fill out and email back to her. Like I stated previously I had already saw the list of requirements on their website but just for good measure, I open it up again just to make sure that I saw what I know I already saw lol. I printed out the application, filled it out and email it back to her in about 45 minutes and said a quick prayer.
"God if this is the position for me I will have it, if its not I won't."..................short and sweet.
I wait.............................
and wait..........................
and wait..........................
until finally, she responds. I was so nervous to open her email. I had to take a deep breath and then open it. I know you're probably thinking "Its not that serious, Its just a job".
But for me, its so much more than a job. So much more than a career path. It's a calling, It's a passion and I stepped away from so much to pursue it because God told me to. And I don't take it lightly!
I look at the email and it says: " Felecia, thank you so much for your interest in the position, however we won't be able to offer you a position at this time. As it was stated in the job requirements, all full and part time employees are required to be an active member of the Lutheran Church. Please let me know if you have any further questions!
I can't even begin to tell you the amount of emotion I began to feel. The first and strongest emotion was disappointment. I went back to check the job description and its DID NOT say that I needed to be a part of the Lutheran Church to apply. Im a part of a church and I have been there for five years and I love it but its not Lutheran.
The second emotion- confusion! Im a believer! Im a follower of Christ but because my church identifies as a Non denominational church I am immediately disqualified?
Then anger- How dare this woman who makes six figures, who is married, who has NEVER been a single mom according to her company bio, tell me that I am not qualified to serve a demographic of women THAT I BELONG TO! You run a shelter in the middle of MY CITY, a city you don't even live in, that services mostly women of color, which you are not and IM THE ONE THATS NOT QUALIFIED?????
Maybe I would have felt differently if she had of told me that I didn't qualify for the position because I don't have the work experience but to completely rule me out of the running because of my denomination. I felt slighted.
The last emotion I felt was sadness. I was sad because all I want to do is work that is meaningful and purposeful. Work that helps women that I identify with. Work that enhances the lives of others. Work that pleases God and to not be given the change because Im not Lutheran was a hard pill to swallow.
I was sad because this was not the first job I had gone out for to be able to help people and was turned down for. It wasn't the first time that I felt that someone else who knows NOTHING about single motherhood personally, got to make a decision for me that I didn't agree with.
But like I always ask my oldest daughter after she has come out of a rough season or situation; WHATS THE LESSON IN THIS? What was I suppose to learn from this? What am I supposed to take away from this?
Here's my answer: The lesson for me today is that what is for me is for me. And if this job is not for me then I don't want it! There are few things worse than working at a job that God didn't send you to ITS MISERABLE. So I don't want to be anywhere that God dent want me to be. I also am not sure that I want to work for an establishment that will not offer a qualified candidate a position because of denomination.
If you are like me today please be encouraged! You are not alone and disappointment is a normal emotion to feel. And as long as you live there will be disappointments. The important thing is to have some action steps that you can take when you are feeling disappointed so that you don't get stuck there.
Here is what I did today to get through my feelings of disappointment concerning todays interaction with "Jaime" lol
1. I unpacked how I was feeling with a trusted friend. I called my Friend Brandi and told her what happened. She listened and gave me some sound advice. This is why the Bible says in Proverbs 19:20 "Listen to advice and accept instruction that you may gain wisdom in the future."
2. I allowed myself some time to feel what I was feeling: So often we rush past or ignore how we are feeling. We don't deal with it and then it keeps bothering us, making us angry and festering. I cried today, I got upset, and I took the time to figure out why I was so upset. Thats healthy and you don't have feel bad or apologize to ANYBODY for being human!
Lastly..............................
3. I spoke positively: I told myself what I was about to do. I literally said. " I have every right to be disappointed and angry. But Im not going to stay angry. I am going to pick myself up, dust myself off and keep looking for more opportunities to help other moms like myself. God is going to provide me with the right opportunities to serve this community"!
Maybe something similar has happened toy you. Maybe society is making you feel like you are not qualified to do what you know you have been called to do. Just know that it is going to be ok. There is absolutely nothing that can keep Gods plan from working EXACTLY how he intended it to work!
I know you may feel disappoint but just keep your intention in the right place. Keep your heart open, keep your head up and keep the faith!
The right opportunity will come! A delay is defiantly not a denial!
Take this scripture with for the next time you may experience disappointment:
Romans 8:38 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose
Have a great week!
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